It goes like this: take some home-made pierogies, some homemade borscht, a lentil salad, some challah, and some zinfandel and you have the makings of a nice Ukrainian feast. Add some shots of vodka, a family, and a birthday, and you have the makings of one of the best birthday celebrations in family history.
My family is by no means perfect, but when things are good and the stars converge, it is an awesome family to be a part of. This year I wanted a homemade Ukrainian feast to celebrate my birthday, complete with vodka toasts. My brothers toasted me for giving the family a reason to drink on my birthday, and my nephew's toast went something like "Happy birthday Ray-Ray, and, I like you, and..." But the toasts that made me stop and think the most were from my parents.
My mom toasted to me for being the daughter she never thought she and my dad would have, and my dad toasted to me for being the daughter they did have. After the fog of vodka and wine and cake cleared, I was able to think about what this meant. What my existence means.
I am a physical manifestation of love.
My parents did not have an easy time conceiving me. I took a few years to arrive. But they loved each other, and that love drove them to keep trying until they finally had me.
When I consider this, I realize that I was a blessing to my parents. And it took me 31 years to figure that out. I spent a good amount of my youth feeling like the world would have been a better place if I hadn't been born. But now I see just how untrue that is, and how ungrateful to my parents that thinking is.
When I enter a new year of my life, I like to set an intention or a wish for the year. This year, I want to focus on the root of my being, on who I am. I will give myself permission to dream big, because to deny my dreams is to deny who I am at my core. And seeing that I am a manifestation of love, and knowing that love conquers all, I believe that I can truly conquer anything.
So, 31, here's to you and the infinite possibilities that you hold. May you be a year filled with love and dreams fulfilled. And may you shine brighter than any other.
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