Now that the holidays are upon us, I'm sure you've seen an article or two offering tips on how to "survive the holidays." The advice ranges from how to field awkward questions (about your love life, about your plans for family, etc.) to how to deal with poorly behaving children. Almost all of these types of articles that I've seen are selling from the standpoint "holidays are stressful, so be prepared."
I'd like to offer a twist. Are you ready for this? It involves something that you have complete control over: your mindset. So what is it I suggest?
Flip the script.
Instead of looking at holiday gatherings as something to "get through," look for the ways you will enjoy yourself.
Often times, stress is created when stress is anticipated. If you tell yourself that Thanksgiving is going to be stressful because the whole family will be there with Aunt Martha forcing green bean casserole on everyone while dad tells awkward jokes, then yes, it will be stressful and those things will grate on you, and you may in fact cause a stressful environment by bringing your negative energy to the table.
But what happens when you go in with a positive mindset?
Sure, Aunt Martha might still offer you some green bean casserole, but you'll see that she does so because she wants to share something she made with the people she loves. And yes, your dad will make some awkward jokes, but you can just laugh them off.
Let me tell you a little story. I must first preface by saying that I have social anxiety, so gatherings of more than 3-4 people can make me very nervous, and are sometimes over-stimulating. One day last Spring, I was on my way to a walking Meetup that I had organized, and when I checked my phone to see how many women had signed up, there were 20. 20 women signed up to go walking that morning. I went into panic mode straight-away. I couldn't handle meeting with 20 women that I did not know! And then I stopped myself and said, no, that does not have to be true. So I arrived for my Meetup, and only about 15 women showed. I greeted everyone with a smile, and we all introduced ourselves, and I had a wonderful time. If I had gone in with my original negative mind-frame, I'm sure I would have been much more shy, and looked for things I did not like about people. Instead, I rocked it and met some really cool people.
I learned a valuable lesson from that experience, one that has helped me when I stress out over future events. Anticipating stressful social situations creates stressful social situations. Go in with no expectations, but looking for the good, and you just might enjoy yourself. That's what I intend to do this year.
Have you ever experienced a mind-shift like this? How do you intend to enjoy the holidays? I'd love to hear from you in the comments below!
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