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Today I'm sharing with you a guest post by my blogging buddy, Alicia of Jaybird. This collaboration has been in the works for a while now, so I am very excited to share her voice on my blog today. We have decided to open up our collaboration to the blogging community by creating a Love Your Body linkup, and we encourage our readers to post their own stories and link up with us (see below). While you're at it, you can check out my story over on Alicia's blog.
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Of course I want to love my body.
I want to appreciate my body’s potential for strength, endurance and physical accomplishment.
I want to embrace it, no holds barred, and nourish it as best I know how, every single day.
But some days? That’s nearly impossible to do.
Self-love isn’t perfect. Really, is any kind of love perfect? Every relationship has ups and downs, frustrations and joys, disappointments and thrills. Our relationships with our bodies are no different.
Everyone has the occasional case of the nasty some days. Whether the negativity is about your body, your performance at work, your relationship or your home, it feels like it’s seeping in from all sides. These days are especially discouraging when you’re actively trying to be kinder to yourself, to cultivate self-love and to practice compassion.
I have those days, too. Even though I write about loving your body, there are days when I look in the mirror and feel disappointed by the woman I see. I pick apart every single feature, wondering why I can’t ever get rid of acne or stick to a way of eating that I know will eliminate my belly fat. I try to get dressed for work, only to discard all the pants that are too tight and the unflattering dresses in a pile on the floor. I look at the “love your body resolution” sign on my mirror and roll my eyes, knowing that I’m not living up to my own standard of kindness.
I’m sharing these doubts because honesty is important. Imperfection is important. Occasionally bloggers will write a post where they "reveal" a messy home or laundry that sits undone. The comments are inevitably affirming: it validates us to read that even in a world most often illustrated by smiling selfies and Pinterest-perfect organization, no one is perfect.
That applies to self-love, too. I want to peel back the layers of advice and positivity that I've dished out and say, honestly, that I don't love myself perfectly. I have days and weeks when I know I'm not doing right by my body, and I'm directing insults at myself that I'd never aim at someone else. During those weeks, I look to friends and other writers for inspiration and a reminder to keep trying.
Even though they aren't the most pleasant of emotions, self-doubt and discouragement are teachers. Those weeks when I'm not feeling great are often the weeks when I have the most to say about loving my body. The blog posts I write become gentle reminders to myself: be patient, be understanding, pick yourself up and try-try again. They push me to be as generous with my time towards myself (working out, cooking nourishing meals, reading books before bed) as I am towards others. I can take the negativity and channel it towards loving myself better, even if it doesn't happen right away.
The wonderful thing about self-love is that the more I practice, the better I get. So even when there are difficult days, I can call on the positive habits I've cultivated to keep me going. I think of what's made me feel better in the past when I'm feeling down on my body: taking a moment for quiet reflection, asking myself five why's to figure out the root cause of my upset or doing something healthy that I know will make me feel good. I unfurl my yoga mat and practice or stretch for a few minutes. I pull out my favorite cookbook and make a new meal plan, then go get groceries and get cooking. I put on my running shoes, even if I don't feel like it, and I run through the blah until I get to the beautiful.
From the imperfect, I draw inspiration. From negativity, I learn a lesson. From this community, I draw support. It's an ongoing education, this journey to cultivate self-love, but I can't imagine a better field of study.
Alicia writes Jaybird, a blog focused on self-improvement sans sleaze. She believes in cooking with joy, eating with gusto and moving often (ideally to super catchy pop music). Jaybird is a place to find community, inspiration and the occasional chocolatey dessert recipe. She'd love to say hi: you can find her on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and Pinterest!
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