Cultivating Self-Love: A Question of Age

15 April 2014

How old do you feel? I'm 31 but I don't really feel much older than 23. Sure, I've been through plenty of grown-up stuff since 23- I've lost loved ones (to suicide, cancer, Alzheimer's), I've moved a ton, I've lived and worked abroad, I've dealt with taxes, I've opened and closed bank accounts, I've had my own apartment, I've changed jobs, I've dated, I've had my heart broken, I've traveled alone, I've bought a ridiculously expensive pair of shoes (every girl should have a pair of Louboutins- they're an investment), I've bought big-girl clothes (like blazers and high heels and sheath dresses), I've paid multiple medical and dental bills, had surgery, and I've even had a mammogram.

But then there is the part of me that still loves throwing an impromptu dance party in my living room on a weeknight, who wears flats with sundresses, who gets really excited about going out for ice cream, who still gets a kick out of spotting rainbows, who loves swinging on the swings at the playground, who jumps up and down any time she's really excited (half of the time, it's food-related), and who still sees life as something full of wonder and possibility.

I also still have plenty of milestones ahead of me, if they are in the stars. I've yet to find "the one," have kids, own a home, go to Istanbul, lose my dearest loved ones (and still pray that maybe I don't have to know what that is like), have a major health scare (which is always at the back of my mind given a family history of breast and colon cancer), make some investments (and hopefully see them pay off), and start buying granny panties and relying on Depends (not to mention going through the "big change").

But really, I'm happy with my age right now. I spent my 20s feeling time slip through my fingers. I spend time with other 20-somethings because I thought 30-somethings were too mature, had been through too much, and just wouldn't get it. Now that I'm on the other side, I want to tell 20-somethings to befriend every 30-something they can, because those are the folks who've been there and will get it and then some.

So really, what age matters more? The age you are or the age you feel? In the end, I don't think either mean much at all. In the end, they're just numbers, but they have no way of conveying the truth of the person behind the number.

Tell me- how old do you feel? Is age just a number to you? I'd love to hear from you in the comments below!
Cultivating Self-Love

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