Loving My Body Through the Changes

In the 7 or so months during which I took a break from my blog, my body experienced a somewhat significant change. Specifically, I've put on a little bit of weight. This is the point where I get a little TMI for some, but I intend to talk about it here because I think it is a discussion that should be normalized. I'm talking about birth control, its effects on the body, and how I have learned to appreciate the changes it has brought to my body.

To give a little background, I went on the pill about six years ago in order to control the intense cramps and pelvic pain that I experienced every month leading up to my period. I had gotten to the point where I was better off staying home from work for the day when my cramps were at their worst. I would take 800mg of ibuprofen and try to get through the day as best I could. As if that weren't enough, I had also begun to experience pelvic pain in the week prior to the cramping. This pain meant that any time my bladder was even slightly full, I had to rush to the bathroom because of the intense pressure. My boss even yelled at me for going to the bathroom too often, but that boss was not a very nice person. In the end, I took my troubles to the gynecologist and she put me on the pill.

For five years, I took the pill every day to keep everything in check. I skipped the period week in each pack so that I was on the pill continuously- having a period still caused me problems. One of the unexpected benefits of being on the pill was that my weight went down, and stayed down. I was at my thinnest and felt pretty good about it. It felt good (and weird) to be called skinny. I had never been skinny before, but I became accustomed to it.

Eventually, I began to identify myself as thin. This means that I became much more fearful of gaining weight. Whereas growing up and in my early twenties I identified as fat, my late twenties and early thirties were closely tied to being thin. Therefore, when my pelvic pain began to resurface despite being on the pill, I was afraid of trying an alternative form of birth control for fear of gaining weight.

In the end, I chose to make a change because I knew my body needed it. I switched to the implant, which is great because it means no more remembering to buy and take pills. But the change in birth control lead to a few more changes in my body. Not only do I have to deal with periods again, but I have gained some weight. 

Dealing with this change has not been easy, but I'm learning to choose a more positive perspective. Therefore, instead of referring to my body as having gained weight, I am saying that my body filled out. My breasts are fuller, and my hips are more round. I am softer. I look more womanly, in my opinion.

This change in my body has caused me to think a lot about why my identity and my body are so entwined. Looking back, when I made the gradual change from being obese to being skinny, I had a hard time disassociating myself from what I call "fat girl thoughts." Despite having lost so much weight, I still felt like an elephant whenever I would walk down an airplane aisle. I was so used to taking up a lot of space that I never adjusted my mindset. It wasn't just the space I took up, either. I still compared myself to girls who were skinnier than me, never quite feeling that I was truly thin. But still, after several years of being thin, I eventually began to cling to my new thin identity. I was terrified at the thought of gaining weight.

Part of my fear of gaining weight was because I associated weight gain with failure. I was afraid of how other people would view me- that because I could not maintain my weight, I would be viewed as "less than." I also feared disappointment in myself, for having worked so hard to lose the weight before, only to gain some of it back. It doesn't help that society rewards weight loss and demonizes weight gain. I received a lot of positive reinforcement for my weight loss and for simply being skinny, but even putting on five pounds, I've rarely been told I look good, or, god forbid, even healthier (which I personally think I do).

Ultimately, I choose to embrace the changes that my body is currently experiencing. I am not my body. I am a soul inhabiting a body, and that body will go through countless changes throughout its lifetime. My soul is what matters, and my soul is beautiful. This body of mine is beautiful in its own right, so I will try to show it a bit more grace. Instead of focusing on what I dislike about the weight gain (no longer being able to fit into my favorite clothes), I will focus on the beauty of the change. My breasts have filled out again and my hips are rounder. The softness of my body reflects the softness of my soul (I know that sounds cheesy, but its true). My sensitive nature has manifested itself in this body, and I am absolutely lucky to being living this life in this body.

What I wish to leave my readers with is this: love your body. Treat it well and show it some grace. Fat or thin, you are not your body. Your body is simply a vessel for your soul. I know that it is difficult at times to embrace the body you have, but when you do, you will feel that much more alive.

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Love Your Body Linkup

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Today I'm sharing with you a guest post by my blogging buddy, Alicia of Jaybird. This collaboration has been in the works for a while now, so I am very excited to share her voice on my blog today. We have decided to open up our collaboration to the blogging community by creating a Love Your Body linkup, and we encourage our readers to post their own stories and link up with us (see below). While you're at it, you can check out my story over on Alicia's blog.

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Of course I want to love my body.

I want to appreciate my body’s potential for strength, endurance and physical accomplishment.

I want to embrace it, no holds barred, and nourish it as best I know how, every single day.

But some days? That’s nearly impossible to do.

Self-love isn’t perfect. Really, is any kind of love perfect? Every relationship has ups and downs, frustrations and joys, disappointments and thrills. Our relationships with our bodies are no different.

Everyone has the occasional case of the nasty some days. Whether the negativity is about your body, your performance at work, your relationship or your home, it feels like it’s seeping in from all sides. These days are especially discouraging when you’re actively trying to be kinder to yourself, to cultivate self-love and to practice compassion.

I have those days, too. Even though I write about loving your body, there are days when I look in the mirror and feel disappointed by the woman I see. I pick apart every single feature, wondering why I can’t ever get rid of acne or stick to a way of eating that I know will eliminate my belly fat. I try to get dressed for work, only to discard all the pants that are too tight and the unflattering dresses in a pile on the floor. I look at the “love your body resolution” sign on my mirror and roll my eyes, knowing that I’m not living up to my own standard of kindness.

I’m sharing these doubts because honesty is important. Imperfection is important. Occasionally bloggers will write a post where they "reveal" a messy home or laundry that sits undone. The comments are inevitably affirming: it validates us to read that even in a world most often illustrated by smiling selfies and Pinterest-perfect organization, no one is perfect.

That applies to self-love, too. I want to peel back the layers of advice and positivity that I've dished out and say, honestly, that I don't love myself perfectly. I have days and weeks when I know I'm not doing right by my body, and I'm directing insults at myself that I'd never aim at someone else. During those weeks, I look to friends and other writers for inspiration and a reminder to keep trying.

Even though they aren't the most pleasant of emotions, self-doubt and discouragement are teachers. Those weeks when I'm not feeling great are often the weeks when I have the most to say about loving my body. The blog posts I write become gentle reminders to myself: be patient, be understanding, pick yourself up and try-try again. They push me to be as generous with my time towards myself (working out, cooking nourishing meals, reading books before bed) as I am towards others. I can take the negativity and channel it towards loving myself better, even if it doesn't happen right away.

The wonderful thing about self-love is that the more I practice, the better I get. So even when there are difficult days, I can call on the positive habits I've cultivated to keep me going. I think of what's made me feel better in the past when I'm feeling down on my body: taking a moment for quiet reflection, asking myself five why's to figure out the root cause of my upset or doing something healthy that I know will make me feel good. I unfurl my yoga mat and practice or stretch for a few minutes. I pull out my favorite cookbook and make a new meal plan, then go get groceries and get cooking. I put on my running shoes, even if I don't feel like it, and I run through the blah until I get to the beautiful.

From the imperfect, I draw inspiration. From negativity, I learn a lesson. From this community, I draw support. It's an ongoing education, this journey to cultivate self-love, but I can't imagine a better field of study.

Alicia writes Jaybird, a blog focused on self-improvement sans sleaze. She believes in cooking with joy, eating with gusto and moving often (ideally to super catchy pop music). Jaybird is a place to find community, inspiration and the occasional chocolatey dessert recipe. She'd love to say hi: you can find her on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and Pinterest!

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Cultivating Self-Love: Loving Your Body Through the Changes

How do you react when you notice changes, be they minor or significant, in your body? Does a new wrinkle make you panic? Stretchmarks make you lose your mind? Or, how do you feel when something just won't work the way it used to, like a bum knee or your circulation?

Today I'm going to talk to you about loving your body through the changes, something that I have experienced personally, and which I think all women can relate to given the seasons that our bodies are designed to encounter. I'd like to inspire a revolution of embracing change.

First, lets talk about the cosmetic changes- changes that are visible, but that do not cause any harm to your body. Changes that are strictly aesthetic.

Ah, to be a carefree kid again. Don't mind the hat.

I'm not sure when they first appeared, but I've had stretch marks for far longer than I lived without them. I was one of those lucky girls who hit puberty a little bit earlier than her peers (and thank god I was a grade ahead age-wise, or the changes would have been noticed even more by my classmates than they already were). At age ten, I remember the day that a girl (who had been a good friend in fourth grade) snapped my bra strap while we were sitting in class. I was humiliated, not only because someone had done something mean (and loud) that drew attention to me (and my bra), but also because I felt ashamed of my budding breasts (a shame, mind you, that lingered well into my early twenties). Within two years, my body grew- my hips filled out, my breasts grew, and the rest of me became a bit overweight. Sadly, I was not blessed in the gene pool with elastic skin, so stretch marks formed over most of my body: the backs of my calves, my inner thighs, most of my stomach, my hips, my breasts, and the wing-bits of my arms. Puberty was not kind to me, and I've been left with reminders of that ever since.

At my skinniest, and in great shape underneath it all.

Another change my body has encountered, the results of which I was entirely unprepared for, was significant weight loss. What people seem to not tell you is that some people may lose the way, but their skin does not shrink to fit the newly toned body. Loose skin means that shapewear is required for any tight-fitting dresses, and that pants will forever be a frustration, thanks to a perma-muffin-top. I have a weird pooch above my belly button that will never go away, unless I opt for plastic surgery, but I never will because I've already had a laparoscopic surgery in that region and that was all the surgery experience I need. When you lose weight, you kind of expect to end up with a tight, toned body and perky breasts- no one ever tells you that your body will look lived-in.

Hello eye-crinkles.

Lately, though, the change I've noticed the most is the lines that have appeared on my face. Crinkles that show up every time I laugh or smile or squint in the sun. Lines around my mouth, like parentheses (as though my face know my tendency to over-use parentheses). Lines that can tell you just which faces I make the most often. These are the newest changes, and therefore the hardest changes, for me to accept about my body.

And as for the changes in function?

Post-half-marathon.

Developing a knee injury while training for my first (and most likely only) half-marathon forced me to think about how I treat my body, even if what I am doing is for my own good. I used to love goal-setting and goal-getting, and running a half-marathon was going to be an easy way to fulfill that need of mine. I trained for months to walk/run those 13.1 miles, and up until race day, my body seemed ready. Unfortunately, mile 3 saw my knee tugging at me, and I was forced to hobble/joggle the remaining 10 miles. I was incredibly stubborn and refused to seek help- I wanted my medal, dammit! A stint of personal training showed me that weak glutes and hips had led to a tightened IT band, which is what cause my pain. It's an issue I still deal with, one that requires strength-training, and which means that I still don't run much further than 3 miles.

My foot at its least attractive and most painful.

My other major change occurred when I was a month shy of 25 years old. While at my first real belly dance class, I looked down at my toes, which felt funny, and noticed they were white. Not pale-white from lack of sunshine, but white-white from lack of blood flow. My sister was in that class with me and I had her looks at my toes. How weird! A few more episodes and a Web MD search later, I determined I must have Raynaud's. My dad telling me that my grandmother and cousin both had/have it, and I was sold. A doctor's diagnosis (my toes had actually turned purple in his office), and it was official. I have Raynaud's- the primary kind. This means that even the slightest cool breeze (cool being anything lower than the current temperature) can cause the blood to stop circulating to my hands and feet. This then gives me a pins-and-needles feeling, sometimes numbness, and usually followed by burning when the blood returns. I've had lots of minor episodes, a few really bad ones (which even running my extremities under warm water didn't fix), and I am pretty much constantly trying to keep warm. This is by far the most difficult change I have faced, and while I know it doesn't compare to what some people go through, it's been hard for me. I used to be someone who overheated easily, and I still sweat more than I think is average. But going from being someone who could sit outside on cold pavement in January, to one who feels that anything below 75 is cold, is rough. 

So, how have I loved my body through these changes?

As for the aesthetic stuff, I've reminded myself that physical beauty is not eternal. We all go through changes, and no one is immune. And change can be beautiful in itself. Those stretch marks are quite fascinating if you think about it- they now form pale, iridescent stripes along and around my body. They tell a story, one of change and triumph, and if I think of them as hugs, it's like they're hugging the bits of my body that need the extra love. As for extra flesh- that's another storyteller, victorious and strong in its own way. And wrinkles? They're evidence of lots of smiles and laughs, of enjoying this life I've been given.

And the functional changes? While they've been tougher to love, I have come to accept them and work with them. A bum knee means no more training for long runs, but instead doing physical activities that feel good to my body. It also means making sure that strength-training is a part of my life. And the Raynaud's- I keep fingerless gloves on me at all times, and prepare for any situation in which I may find myself cold. That means taking a blanket and warm, fuzzy socks to the movie theater, and wearing thick, warm boots most of the year (October through June in a bad year, through April in a good year). It means choosing function over fashion, most of the time. And keeping Little Hotties on hand at all times, in case of emergency.

Change is a part of life, and our bodies are great examples of that. Instead of fearing or rejecting change, I suggest we embrace the change and learn how we can love the changes our bodies experience. It's not easy starting a revolution.

What changes have you learned to accept in your body? How does change affect how you feel about yourself? I'd love to hear from you in the comments below.

Hey friends! Would you like to join in the conversation about loving your body? Next Monday, March 31, I will be joining Alicia of Jaybird for a Love Your Body linkup! Since January, Alicia has created a series on her blog called Love Your Body Resolution, and she has posted some inspiring stories there. I am very excited to feature her here on my blog next week, and to link up with our fellow bloggers! For more details, and some prompts to inspire you, hop on over here.

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10 Things I Like About My Body

Photo by Motormouth Studios

Today's post is inspired by Lisa's post last Wednesday, which was inspired by this post from Avoiding Atrophy, a new-to-me blog. I love the idea of talking about things that we love about ourselves. As women, we often feel the need to downplay our assets, lest we sound boastful, and more often than not, we tend to focus on the things we don't like about ourselves. For this reason, and in the hopes of encouraging you to do the same, I'm joining up with these two ladies to talk about ten things I like about myself. Of course, since this month I'm blogging about showing love for our bodies, I had to give the post my own twist, so I present to you:

10 Things I Like About My Body

1. I like my legs. I like their shape, their curve, and I like the way that they have taken me places I never could have imagined. They've climbed the stairs of Giotto's tower in Florence, they've run/walked a half marathon, they've danced across stages, and they've remained steady and strong the whole time (well, other than the bit about the IT-band).
2. My smile. True story: I never really thought much of my smile until one of the classes I taught in France. To give my 11th-graders a chance to get to know me while working on their English conversation skills, I had one half ask questions about me, while the other half guessed my answers to the questions. One question that was asked was what I liked best about myself, and my students guessed my smile. When I told them that was not my answer, they asked me why- it seemed so obvious an answer to them. That moment made me think I should smile more often- and I do.
3. My eyes. From a young age, I was always told this was my greatest physical feature, and I admit, I love my eyes. I love that they are big, hazel, and I love that I have naturally long-ish lashes.
4. My eyebrows. Weirdo-alert, but I love a good eyebrow, and I am very happy to have nice arches. I actually have a fairly prominent (to me) scar in my left eyebrow where it is white and no hair grows- I've had it since I was a toddler (I supposedly fell in the bathtub). So, though they be crooked, my eyebrows make for nice curtains to the windows of my soul.
5. My hourglass shape. Granted, dressing my shape is difficult given that many clothes manufacturers seem to make clothes more suited to straighter figures, but I love that I go in at the waist, and it's something I love to see when I'm decked out in my belly dance costume. It also makes me feel very feminine.
6. The odd brown spots on the palm-side of my hand. I've had the one ever since I was a toddler, but the other showed up some time in the last two years. They're kind of odd, and growing up my siblings referred to the one on my finger as my poop spot. Very funny (not). I don't care what they say- I like that it's unique.
7. My hair. My hair actually thinned out quite a bit the second time I lived in France, as did both of my roommates' hair (freaky). Even so, I like the thickness of my hair, and how shiny and soft it tends to be. I've grown to appreciate my stick-straight brunette locks, despite doing everything in my power as a child to get Madonna's and Stephanie Tanner's golden curls.
8. My nose. I used to hate my nose as a kid. I thought it as too big, or too round, or just plain ugly. But somewhere along the way, I grew into it. I'm not entirely sure who's nose I acquired, but I can say it's mine and has its quirks. And I like it that way.
9. My hands. They may be small, and they may be showing my age, but they are fierce. They can shape up an amazing scone, they can chop chocolate like their lives depend on it, they can fashion words out of thin air, and they give the best doggie ear and belly rubs.
10. My hips. I used to hate my hips. Really, truly hate them. They were too big, and finding pants was always frustrating. But then I discovered belly dance, and I learned how to use my hips. Now I love nothing more then to shimmy my hips in class and on stage. And who needs pants anyway?

I hope that this list inspires you to create one of your own. It may take some time and thought (I know mine did), but it is worth it. If you can, write it down or print it out and keep it near a full-length mirror so that even on bad days, you can be reminded of what you truly love about your body. Because, let's face it: we only get one body in life, so we might as well show it some love. Our bodies deserve it.

Your turn- share with me something you love about your body! Or better yet, create your own post! I'd love to hear what you love about yourself.

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Cultivating Self-Love: Body

Image by Olga Tenyanin

Do you love your body? Not in a "do you think you're hot?" way (though I hope you do feel that way about your body), but I'm talking about love as a verb here- do you show your body love?

This month, I will be exploring what it means to love your body, and I will be working toward faithfully showing my body love on a daily basis. Sometimes that might mean sleeping in, and sometimes it might mean doing yoga even though I'm tired.

Since it's Monday, I'm going to keep it short and share with you ways I might show my body love this month- feel free to share me your ways in the comments!

Ways to Show Your Body Love

• Take a bath with a fizzy bath bomb.
• Treat yourself to a face mask.
• Do yoga.
• Go for a run.
• Dance around your living room/office/kitchen/the street.
• Stretch.
• Do squats while watching TV.
• Sleep for 9 hours.
• Drink lots of water.
• Sit up straight.
• Wear your favorite dress and work it.
• Hug somebody warm and soft.
• Take a selfie.
• Look at yourself in the mirror and say, "damn, you fine."

This is in no way a definitive list, just some ideas to get you going. Now it's your turn- how will you show your body love this month? I'd love to hear form you in the comments below!

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Accepting: Insecurity

How do you feel about insecurity? It is a trait that is greatly frowned upon and viewed as something shameful. Anyone who has ever been single has been told that insecurity is a big turn-off. Nobody wants to be friends with someone who is insecure.

But is that really true? And what does that mean?

First, let's review the definition of insecurity:

Source

Consider the first part of the definition: "uncertainty or anxiety about oneself." Who has never felt that at some point in their life? 

When I look back at my life so far, I can see the times when insecurity plagued me. When I was overweight, I was incredibly insecure about my figure. I still am from time to time, when I look in the mirror and see countless silver wisps across my hips, inner arms, stomach, and breasts. Or when I see that bulge of upper tummy that will never disappear, no matter how strong my abs are, nor how small I become. When I realize that I have never had a young, firm body, and nor will I ever. In theory, these thoughts and feelings mean I should never bare my skin in public.

And yet I do. I wore a bikini while I vacationed in Hawaii, all while questioning if the younger, fitter women were gazing in disgust at my extra skin that comes from losing weight and having poor skin elasticity. Then there are the times I perform belly dance in public, a dance whose very name calls for me to bare the one part of my body about which I feel the most insecure. So perhaps I am not so insecure as I thought.

But then.

There is an insecurity that permeates much deeper than my skin. An insecurity that comes from a deep desire to be loved and valued, not for what is on the outside of me, but for what is inside. I see my value, but I always wonder if others see it.

Making new friends, for instance. After a first or second encounter with a potential new friend, I become incredibly insecure, wondering if said person actually wants to be my friend, or if I scared them away by talking either too little or too much. Was I too vulnerable? Did I sound too opinionated? Was I too negative?

Am I too insecure?

We all want to be loved, and we all fear not having love. And for that reason, I question the demonization of insecurity. Instead, I think we need to treat it with acceptance.

Insecurity doesn't feel good, and treating insecurity in another person as though it is the plague is not helpful to anyone. We've got to cut the shame out of insecurity.

In order to accept insecurity, you must first recognize it where it exists. It is a feeling, one which must be examined. Where does it come from? Why is it there?

Once you recognize insecurity, you can begin to move past it. When it comes to my body insecurity, it helps to not look into mirrors or look at pictures of myself. At the same time, I know that this is my body, I've done my best with it, but gosh darn it, it deserves to feel the warmth of the sun and the glow of a spotlight. It deserves to be covered in glitter as it dances for a smiling audience.

And as for my emotional insecurities, I don't let them stop me from trying to forge new relationships. If someone does not want my friendship, I know that they are missing out on something awesome. I will still feel insecure at the beginning, and that is ok. Because in that case, the insecurity comes from not knowing- not knowing what will come of this relationship and not knowing what the other person is thinking. And who knows? Maybe that other person has the same insecurity.

What do you think about insecurity? Do you ever judge yourself or others for feeling insecure? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

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Why I Don't Believe in Dieting

How do you feel about dieting? Have you ever tried one? If so, did it work for you?

Starting at age 10, I began having issues with my weight. As a teenager, I tried to diet, but the only thing that ever worked was eating only Cheerios for a week. I'm not kidding- I dropped a dress size and people noticed. Sadly, it took practically starving myself to get there.

In college, things changed and I managed to lose weight simply by not dieting, and I will share my tips below. But again, I ended up really losing weight when my anxiety kicked into full gear and I couldn't manage to eat much for 7 weeks while I worked at Disney World. I ended up needing to have my gall bladder removed due to the dramatic weight loss. Unfortunately, I put all of that weight back on when I went away to college and then more when I studied in France. I mostly blame the maxi pain au chocolat.

In college, I tried dieting. I tried cutting out carbs, I tried eating more vegetables, and I took so many phys ed classes, I should have lost weight. But I didn't. Nothing worked.

After college, however, things changed again, and I changed my lifestyle entirely. In roughly 3 years time, I lost 60 lbs and I have kept it off ever since. And not once did I diet. Instead, I took up running, starting out very slowly. I took up belly dance. I practiced yoga when I could. All the while, I did not deprive myself of the food I enjoy.

I will admit that I became a vegetarian in this time, and that certainly helped. I did not intend to become vegetarian long-term, I was just trying out a plant-based diet, but in the end, not eating meat really works for my body. I think that is the most important thing to understand- you need to eat what is right for your body, not what everyone else is or isn't eating.

What it all comes down to, in my opinion (note: I am not a dietitian or a doctor, I am just sharing what I have learned from experience), is choosing to be healthy. Dieting to lose weight is the silliest thing, and I feel like it is detrimental because the focus is all wrong. I have chosen to make a healthier lifestyle for myself, and it has made all the difference.

My tips for a healthy lifestyle:

• Try not to drink your calories. By this, I mean absolutely no soda. I was addicted in high school, but when I broke that habit, my body thanked me. Now the calories are more likely to come from wine or a cocktail, but I only drink those sparingly, and it is usually as a special treat.
• Cut out excess calories when possible. This means skipping mayo or butter when it isn't needed, or switching to nonfat milk instead of 2% or cream.
• Eat frequent, smaller meals instead of 3 large meals. I'm a grazer, and this is by far the key to my weight loss. I eat smaller portions about 5 times a day, sometimes 6. It's important to eat when you're hungry, and it balances your metabolism.
• Eat a piece of fruit as one of your snacks. I am a banana junkie. I will disregard any diet advice that says not to eat bananas because they make you fat. Bullshit. When I don't eat bananas, I get foot and leg cramps. Not fun. Bananas are nature's most portable snack! Eat up!
• Eat plenty of fiber! Being regular is key to managing your weight and your health. Fiber gets things going, and it also helps fill you up!
• Drink lots of water, all the live long day.
• Treat yo'self! You guys, it's not secret. I love cookies. I love ice cream. I love pastries, and puddings, and cakes. When I deprive myself of things things, I am more likely to binge on them. Therefore, I treat myself on the regular. I just don't eat the whole damn cake. A small slice will usually suffice. 
• Eat fewer processed foods. I discovered that I am allergic to corn, so a lot of processed foods are off-limits to me anyway. I don't believe in eating meat substitutes, often because soy does a number on my stomach. When it comes to treats, I prefer homemade baked goods over highly processed, chemical-laden cakes and cookies from the store. If you don't understand half the ingredients on the label, you probably shouldn't eat it. 

Remember, make it about your health, not your weight. I didn't lose weight until I stopped trying. Weird, huh? What I did do, however, was realize that I felt yucky on the inside, and there were a lot of things I wanted to be able to do that I couldn't. I wanted to run, to hike, to dance! So I did! Now I take care of myself, not to maintain my weight, but because I want to live a long, healthy life doing all kinds of wonderful things.

What are your thoughts? How do you feel about diets? I would love to hear from you in the comments below!

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My Body: A Manifesto

Today I am going to get real with you. I saw a horrible show on MTV a few weeks ago that really got under my skin (there's a reason why I never watch that channel). It's called Girl Code, and in this particular episode, they were talking about how girls are supposed to act in the bathroom. In particular, and it was news to me, girls are supposed to hover over public toilet seats- a girl should never sit. I think I've had a pretty normal upbringing, so I found this shocking (though it explains how some women seem to miss the target). I'm a sitter, always will be, and so far, I haven't acquired any diseases. 

But what rankled me the most about this show was how subversive it was. Here is a channel whose demographic is primarily impressionable young people, including women. And here was a show telling girls what they ought to do with their bodies (don't get me started on body hair). It is hard enough to be a woman with the kind of harassment and pressure we face on a daily basis, but to add to it women telling other women what they should be doing with their bodies is just appalling. I am of the firm belief that we women have to stick together if we really want equality in society. Shit like this is just two steps back.

So, I went to my journal and I wrote a manifesto for my body. 

This body is deserving of love and compassion.

This is my body and it is my choice what I do with it.

My body has no responsibility other than to serve my spirit.

My sole responsibility with my body is to take care of it. Taking care of my body means:

• Feeding it nutritious food when it is hungry.

•  Allowing it to enjoy pleasurable sensations. 

•  Moving it in ways that feel good. 

•  Protecting it from harm. 

•  Giving it plenty of water and sun. 

•  Loving it.

It is for no one else to say what I do with my body, including, but not limited to:

• Shaving or waxing. I will be as hairy or as hairless as I see fit. My hair hurts no one. 

• Wearing makeup. I will wear makeup when I want, but only for my pleasure. I will allow my bare face fresh air regularly. 

•  Clothing. I will wear what makes me feel good, regardless of what others may think. 

• Swimwear. I will wear whatever piece of swimwear I feel good in and suits my needs. 

•  Attractiveness. It is not my responsibility to make myself appealing to someone else's eyes. 

•  Diet. Diets do not exist. I will eat what I want because I want to live my life fully. 

•  Color. I will be as pale as I am because I do not want skin cancer and I don't want too much exposure to chemicals. I also do not wish to be an Oompa-Loompa.

My body is the vessel through which my spirit experiences this life.

I will remind my body that it is beautiful.

I will show my body love.

This is my manifesto, and I will do my best to uphold it. I will try my best to show myself compassion when I forget to hold true to this manifesto.

Now friends, I encourage you to create your own manifesto. You can take mine, if you wish, or you can create one that suits you better. My only hope is that you understand that your one body is yours alone, and you have the choice to treat it lovingly.

So, have you ever written a manifesto? What "rules" do you think are bogus? I would absolutely love to hear from you in the comments below!

 

17 comments body image, happiness, self confidence, self love

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