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Spirituality. A hot-button topic for some, a way of life for others. In my view, their are as many spiritual paths as there are souls who have ever and will ever walk this earth.
Clearly, since I am beginning my year of cultivating self-love with the spirit, spirituality is important to me. It has always been important to me. I am grateful that I was brought up going to church, and therefore given an outlet for my searching soul, though I came to disagree with much of the church's modus operandi.
I have always believed in God. My idea of God has changed over time, but there has never been a doubt in my mind that there was some sort of higher power shaping our universe (and I am open to the concept of a multiverse, just so ya know). As a child, God was an old man with a really long, gray beard, and he sat on a throne in the clouds, which is where I believed Heaven to be. Even though I did not know what it was to lose a person I loved until my early twenties, as a child I was very concerned with death, and what happens to our loved ones when they pass. Knowing there was a Heaven for my parents, grandparents, and siblings to go to was a great comfort as a child.
That is, it was a great comfort until I learned about sin. I began attending Sunday School at a Conservative Baptist church from a young age, but the church that shaped me most was the one I went to when we moved to Washington. I was about 9 when we started going. I think it was in the Middle School youth group that we really started learning about sin, and how horrible and shameful it is. Sin, we learned, is what keeps us from Heaven. But if we asked Jesus into our hearts, our sins would be forgiven.
Despite God's forgiveness of sin, my church seemed unable to look past it. I do believe that part of why I am still harshly critical of myself is because of how drilled into me the shamefulness of sin was at church. And I'm really not even a bad person. Growing up in the church, however, I witnessed churchmembers sins being announced to the congregation. One young, unwedded woman was brought before the church when she became pregnant out of wedlock. The church prayed over her for her sins, but seemed to care a little less about the man who committed the sin with her. That particular incident is one that made my stomach churn, and had me questioning my place in the church.
Later in my teens, I began to read the entire Bible on my own, beginning with the New Testament since it is the new covenant of Christ (meaning that everything- including the Old Testament- from before Christ no longer the rule of law for followers). From my reading, I learned some very important and basic things, the things that continue to shape my faith today.
What I learned:
- God is Love.
- There are two rules: believe in God(Love), and love your neighbor.
Simple, right? With that, I wondered why the church acted the way it did. I don't believe love ridicules and shames people who have let their physical passions overcome them. Love listens and forgives.
So now what do I believe? I believe 100% in Love. I continue to listen to Christ's teachings, because I believe that he showed us how to love. But I also believe that if your path to love is Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, Bhuddism, Taoism, Paganism, or any other (positive) -ism, then that is okay too. In fact, I feel that I incorporate a little bit of new-ageyness/paganism to my belief system because I also believe that Love is energy. I listened to a very interesting podcast from On Being the other day about Voodoo, and the interviewee talked about how in Voodoo, they believe that everything is energy. I believe that too. I believe that Love accepts all people, of all backgrounds.
What I believe:
- I believe in spirits, and I believe some people are gifted with the vision to see them. Personally, I have been visited by two spirits in dreams, one was to reassure me, and the other was to reassure a family member. Both dreams were incredibly real and vivid.
- I believe that animals are spirits.
- I believe spirits are energy.
- I believe in gut instincts.
- I believe in the vibrational power of colors and crystals.
- I believe there is no better sanctuary than nature- especially the woods.
- I believe that all that matters is love, and that no one should enforce their religious beliefs on another person.
- I believe that all we have is faith.
Having Love as my foundation makes me feel secure. I have a rock to stand on, and it has been with me my whole life. It may have been covered in lots of dirt before, but even as the rock takes new shapes below my feet, it is always there.
Has your spirituality changed over the years? What is one thing that you believe for certain? I'd love to hear from you in the comments below.
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